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“I Will Mourn”

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I will be sad….for whatever amount of time it takes,

I will give…. still and do the same things that excite you and take your breath away,
 
I don’t know how to be fake, These lessons through our ups and downs are lessons I will cherish and take,

It’ll hurt to know that when you’re sound asleep, I am wide awake,

Feverishly wiping these pouring tears away, 

Simply suffering from heartbreak,

Feel like walking away because I need more than a break,
 
No cure at all for this sickness and bellyache,
To stay……
Ultimately could have been my biggest mistake,
 
There are some things more important to me,
Many in which I needed to partake,
 
Holding steady and keeping the faith,
 
Refusing to think, feel, see, look too far into what could forsake,
 
A better me after all, through hands on examples I want to make,
 
Couldn’t stop the crash no matter how many times you pumped the brakes,
 
For love all my life I had to wait,
 
To have had it and watch her slip away because I kept hoping for me she would await,
 
Promises for a special date,

Yet even I know that when it comes time it is only right twice in one day,

Depression got me losing a lot of weight, 
It’s crazy when you feel this way because it changes your perception and mind state, 
So many can relate, 
Others judge and debate, 
My fall will be short, and my rise will be great, 
For now I mourn in different ways at different rates,
Life is just a game anyway with one turn I equate,
Until my victory I shall play,
Checkmate.
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